An Observation from a Work at Home Mom

I often hear from other moms how they wish they could work from home and how nice it would be.  I agree to an extent with the moms that comment but sometimes I truly wonder if they understand what it is like.  So to help further the understanding here is how a day working from home can go awry.

Today, I had planned to work and go to the store before picking up the little ones at 12.  So dropping kids off and getting home, work was planned from 8:30 a.m. to 11:50 a.m.

I get home and spray our yard with some bug treatment.  I come in and check my phone to realize I missed a call from the school.  My heart dropped.  Luckily it was not serious but Marcus needed to be picked up and have his ears checked out.  He was not himself.  So off I go and to the doctor.

Then we go to the store because that had to be done which is quite adventurous with the 3 year old who has to go potty at the oddest times.  While at the store I get a text that may mean I need to get Hannah from the movie theater.  Then another text all is well and they're on their way back.

So we bring all the stuff home and on the way, Marcus falls asleep.  Off we go to wait on Hannah to arrive back at school from her field trip.  No air in the car and it's well over 100.  Marcus is sleeping and dripping sweat.  We wait......

We get Hannah and head home.  We get back home, change clothes, start wash, prepare lunch, do some other household chores, and afternoon play time with the little ones.

Where is work you may be wondering?  Well, after all my other afternoon and nightly to dos, I sit down to work about 20 minutes ago for the night.

Yes there are benefits to being at home and God has blessed me with the opportunity to continue to do this.  However, just know that when you work from home there is no down time.  There is no off time.  If something comes up, your work still has to be done.  Deadlines are deadlines and regardless of when you finish, you must come to the office to work even if it is night night time.

God Uses Brokenness

About a month ago, I felt God was wanting me to share some personal things about myself and how He has used those circumstances to make me a new person from the inside out.  I thought it would be to a group of 10 or 15 women in our church.  However, as we may be aware God is capable of doing exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21).

A week ago this past Tuesday, I was asked to be part of a presentation in our church on PathWay ,
 I am a new volunteer serving as a teacher with our middle school students.  I agreed and immediately discussed it with my husband when I got home that night.  I shared thoughts and ideas of what to share but told him I really was not comfortable doing this.  It was WAY OUTSIDE my comfort zone and mostly, I am a very private person not openly sharing with others about my life especially feelings.

God gave me the words to speak and I spoke on Sunday morning to our congregation which, from my perspective, was more full than I've ever seen it.  There were a lot of people there.  Here is what I had to say:

When I was a child, my dream was to be a teacher when I grew up.  I constantly pretended to be a teacher teaching my students.  When I arrived at college, I started out down the road to become a music teacher.  My second semester, I decided I just wanted to teach without music.   Then I realized I was going to be around kids all day and that was not something I wanted to do because at the wisdom filled age of 19 I knew what life was about.

Fast forward several years later.  Over the past couple of years, my husband, Robbie, has been encouraging me to go back to school to be a teacher.  I’ve explained to him that being a teacher nowadays is not like it was when we were in school.  Teachers have a very hard job and I was not interested in pursuing that.

Let me preface the following by telling you two key important things about me.  One, I am a planner and two, I tend to think in a black and white way living in a certain kind of box. 

A few months ago, PathWay passed out a flyer.  When reading the flyer, my heart quickened and I felt I needed to get involved.  They were seeking a math tutor.  Robbie and I spoke about it.  We then begin to pray about it.  Robbie said he was willing to keep our children so I could go tutor.  I told him thank you but I didn’t think I was going to do it.  God kept clearing my schedule so Tuesdays and Thursdays were open.

So I said yes to PathWay.  Ms. Ann and Ms. Terri said that one night a week would work.  So I began in September helping the middle school students.

You might think that 8 weeks of volunteering is not a lot of time but God has shown me so much in that “short” amount of time.  See, about a year and a half ago my heart was broken.  Oh to be honest, my dreams had been broken or thrown away for quite some time but a year ago was when our oldest son went to live with his dad under extenuating circumstances.  God has slowly been healing me but I found that with this healing a new heart has formed.

My PathWay kids have played a big part in just 8 weeks in that healing process because when you’re around children, you can’t sit in the corner and not interact.  They want to know about you.  They want to know why things have happened.  It is a situation where talking about your experiences in life not only allow them to get to know you but about your relationship with Christ because of how you’ve reacted and handled those experiences.

In working with PathWay, I am a teacher but not in the conventional way I believed it would happen.  God grants our desires as they align with His will and He never forgets those childhood dreams that He placed inside.

My heart is being open to understand each of these students, diligently pray for each one, and to a world that I never existed in my own backyard.  For me, this is my mission field and one day a week I’m physically there, hopefully, making a difference but every day I think of PathWay.  I’m wondering what else I can do because one night a week just doesn’t seem like that much.

Yes, I cried throughout speaking and even got choked up.  It was terrifying getting up in front of so many people and laying out my heart to encourage others to partner with PathWay.  Once I was done, it was like I could feel God patting me on the shoulder confirming I had done what I was supposed to and not so much for myself.  I did it with a heart of passion for a ministry where God continues to work but God is using that ministry to help heal my broken heart and part of that healing is moving forward.  #movingforward

Been There, Done That, Loved It!

Yes, I'm sure we can all say that at some point in our lives about a particular situation or mine is been there, done that, and got a t-shirt.

Well this is specifically related to Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies or P31 OBS, for short. I just recently completed a study with the book What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. I was a little unsure because of my time commitment having two children, both under 2 at the time, working on the drama team with my husband, working full-time, and all of life's duties.

God helped me get up early, stay committed, and complete the study. Saying I loved it is not a big enough statement. During this study, I received direction for a volunteer opportunity I was considering, saw a direct miracle of God's protective hand on our 3 month old son and saw God move in a specific ministry I'm involved in at church.

These are just snippets of all I learned, read, absorbed, and saw since beginning that study. I'm not saying your experience will be the same. However, if you won't know until you try it. Please consider joining an OBS and see more information here. The next one is starting this weekend and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me to learn.

Hannah's First Blanket

Amazing how we depend on computers so much or at least I do. I lost my computer on Tuesday, July 3rd. It was a great computer but became diseased and gave up. It put itself out of misery. I got a new computer the following week and am just now realizing some of the things I've missed out doing without one. My newest completed project is the Blooming Pink Baby Blanket. I volunteered to be a pattern tester and if you are interested in purchasing the pattern, it can be found here. I chose to use this opportunity to make Hannah her first crocheted blanket and decided on a beautiful variegated yarn picked up on clearance at Wal-Mart.

Hannah loves the blanket and holds onto it quite a bit. In fact, she won't let me hold it. Instead she will pull it out of my lap and put it in the floor if she is playing. I've got many more projects in the wings but the next one to complete will be for our WOW event coming up August 3rd and 4th. My goal is to finish it this weekend.

Some days are better than others.....

This week God spoke to me during a couple of days which have been really hard days. I'm not sure if it's the heat, the upcoming full moon or just frustration with boredom.

Often times I find I judge myself on being a good mother based on my son's behavior. From my perspective I teach him right from wrong, establish rules for behavior, and when he doesn't follow them or has a bad day, I blame myself. I reflect on what could I have done differently. How could I have helped him more in a situation? It often brings me to tears because, as a mom, my heart aches when all is not right emotionally with my son.

This week God spoke to me, "You are a good mother. You are responsible for your reaction to his choices." That has struck a nerve with me and I have discovered myself repeating mentally, "I am a good mother. I am responsible for my reaction to his choices." This led me to meditate on God's Word and take it a step further that my actions should be Christlike.

Amazingly, I ponder if God looks at us in the same way. He has provided us rules, unconditional love but yet, sometimes we choose to go a different path, make a wrong choice....well, we choose to sin. God blessed us with free similarly to the structure of a parent/child relationship. I cannot imagine God telling Himself the same that I have been repeating to myself but I am so thankful for a God who comforts me in the little things.

In this situation, I have been provided the opportunity to see things through God's eyes which opens my heart up to compassion. Simultaneously, it makes me realize although I am crying over the "bad" day had, I am in charge of my reactions to not only my son's choices but everyone I cross paths with. My prayer is that I am always Christlike in my reactions in all situations.

What about you?

Baby Blanket #5

Well, here it is, baby blanket number 5. I absolutely loved the way this one turned out. The stripes were amazing. It was one of the larger ones I've done about 36 x 40 but at least the little one can grow with it once he arrives. The pattern for the blanket is found here. I have used this several times and love the versatility of it.

God has really laid on my heart to make blankets for newborns so I have been in touch with a local nonprofit and have started making those. Hopefully I can master baby hats and other things to go along with the blankets but for now blankets will be the focus. I have discovered a new tool via the website above about a stripe creating program where you choose your colors, select the rows per each color, and then how many rows you want to do total. It lays out the possibilities. AMAZING and so addictive. The tool can be found here. With this tool, I created a beautiful shell stripe pattern for my first baby blanket of pink, purple, and antique white. Then I will be doing a boys' striped blanket in pastel green, light blue, and pale yellow. Oh, before I forget I must let you know that the mystery pattern has been solved. It is the Star Quilt Afghan from McCall's circa 1984. Still working on getting that pattern and finishing that up. Whew...... Until the next time, happy crocheting.

A New Pattern Found

I was blessed with the opportunity this week to be involved with a stitch testing. The full pattern and blanket can be seen here. It turns out beautifully. For my test, I used an H hook and Caron One Pound Lilac yarn. Back soon with updated baby blanket pictures of the one just recently completed.